Get Roasted. Get Caffeinated.
Premium coffee. First responder humor.
Yes, we’re rude. No, it’s not personal.
(Okay… sometimes it is.)
By entering, you acknowledge this is a themed experience featuring sarcastic humor.
This Is Not a Cute Coffee Shop
Burnouts Coffee is a specialty café staffed by current and former first responders. We serve excellent coffee and unapologetic humor.
You will be roasted.
You will laugh.
You might question your life choices.
How It Works
1. You Opt In
Clear signage. Menu warnings.
No surprises. No whining.
2. You Order
Specialty espresso, drip coffee, cold brew, and rotating signature drinks.
3. You Get Roasted
Sarcasm included.
Full Burn available upon request.
Choose Your Mode
🔥 Full Burn
No mercy.
Recommended for people with self-esteem.
☕ Standard
Sarcasm included.
Still rude. Slightly less savage.
🍼 Decaf Mode
Minimal sass.
We’ll judge you quietly.
Read This First
Burnouts Coffee is a themed entertainment experience. Customers may opt out at any time.
- No protected-class insults
- No threats or trauma references
- Just coffee and jokes
Burnouts Coffee 